February 17, 2011 – Marriage Contracts

My Valentine's Day research also revealed that on February 14^th, 1400 an interesting institution was established in Paris. The "High Courts of Love" dealt with love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women (how progressive). Judges were selected by women on the basis of a poetry reading (curious). Some say though that these weren't really courts per se, but rather literary salons and social gatherings, where people read poems, debated questions of love, and played word games of flirtation.

I find this a fine concept. In fact, only a couple of years ago I was seriously considering to introduce Marriage Courts to the world. I believe the modern society desperately needs to re-haul the whole concept of marriage. Maybe it's a bit different from the High Courts of Love though, so let me elaborate on my ingenious idea.

In a nutshell, we all know that in our day and age (and I should probably add, in 1^st world countries) the only reason to get married is feelings. Most women can very well manage their finances. Most men are sensible enough to hire cleaning ladies. There's no need to constantly pop children in order to expand the family's farming workforce. What's left? Love, love, love. Obvious problems arise when you base a life contract on something that… underappreciated.

Yes, I think the main problem with lasting relationships these days is that we don't appreciate what we are feeling. Our generation is greedy, and for the most part we all want more. More of everything: more money in our bank, more adrenalin in our blood, more years to our life. Why not more spouse candidates?

Our generation is used to upgrades. We don't even attempt to fix anything anymore, we just get the N.N version of the device in trouble and we are happy for another year or two before the next upgrade comes out. Come to think of it, we don't even need to wait for any trouble to happen to change the device. We do it just because the upgrade is available. We want our "more" to always be "better". A better job, a better APR, a better diet. Why not a better spouse upgrade?

Our generation has Attention Deficit Disorder. So how can we be expected to keep our relationship if we cannot even focus enough attention on it?

So my solution to the problem is to create an environment that will make you appreciate your relationship. And when do we usually start to appreciate anything we have? Exactly - when we don't have it anymore! So theoretically, if we create an artificial threat to the longevity of a relationship, it should make this relationship last longer.

Marriage Contract will be signed between partners for 5 years. After this term, you are free to go OR if you wish to extend for another 5 years, you can go to the Marriage Court and defend your case. I bet you that will reduce the divorce rate dramatically. And even if not, a term contract almost guarantees that you will have a more quality relationship for the 5 years that you have together. It's human nature to enjoy things more if we know for a fact they won't last long.

Of course, there are many questions about the implementation of such a system in the society. "Who will be the judges in the Marriage Court?" "What do you do with children?" "How do you divide property?" but I think that I'm on the right track with the general concept, no?

Going back to the High Courts of Love though, I was also fascinated by the fact that there are actually guidelines for "courtly love" that you must follow in order to have a "kosher" experience:

• Attraction to the lady, usually via eyes/glance.
  
• Worship of the lady from afar.
  
• Declaration of passionate devotion.
  
• Virtuous rejection by the lady.
  
• Renewed wooing with oaths of virtue and eternal fealty.
  
• Moans of approaching death from unsatisfied desire (and other physical manifestations of lovesickness).
  
• Heroic deeds of valor which win the lady's heart.
  
• Consummation of the secret love.
  
• Endless adventures and subterfuges avoiding detection.
  

Complicated, really. In our ADD age it probably goes something like this:

• Consummation.
  
• Attraction.
  
• A short relationship.
  
• A quick heart-break.
• Moving on.
  
• Rinse, repeat.
  

P.S. I have to say, the "other side" of the island where we were chilling for hours today is very inducive to such thoughtsJ.