Day 328 – It’s a holly, jolly Christmas

We spent the Christmas Eve at Luke's mother's on Long Island. Luke has four brothers and sisters and each of them has a big family of their own. So there were about 50 people at the party. Four generations.

My family is small, and we almost never have any reunions, because everybody has always been dispersed around the globe. So for me this gathering was absolutely incredible.

For the first two-three hours I was enjoying it tremendously. I positioned myself in a cozy corner of one of the many rooms, decorated beautifully with Christmas stockings from the time when Luke and his siblings were kids, with a plate full of delicious Christmas snacks, and observed the real American Christmas celebration. The first thing that struck me is how friendly and nice everybody was with each other, how genuinely glad they seemed to see each other. Adults had truly meaningful conversations. Older kids took care of the little ones. Even teenagers chatted away happily. At some point, they took family photos next to the tree – what a merry pain in the butt!J Then, a perfect looking blond and handsome brother and sister performed a violin concert of Christmas carols. The captivated audience sang along. I felt like I was at the filming of a 50's movie, really.

Then, my personal hell began. The stupid headache again. I don't know what triggered it – the overwhelming impressions or the complete absence of any silent moment for several hours – but on the train back to NYC I was dying and thoughts about merciful euthanasia popped into my aching head more than once.